Let's talk about this

Discussions about suicide are never easy, but in light of National Suicide Prevention Week, I'd like to lean into this conversation with a wish to help those in despair. As you read this personal post, I ask you to do so with a generous spirit.

My grandmother committed suicide in my garage wearing my high school letter jacket. My parents tried to protect me by providing very few details, but nothing could save me from the hard facts and the painful questions that nagged me for decades. "Why did she put on my letter jacket? Why didn't she reach out? What was she thinking and feeling?" She didn't leave a note, but I don't think that would have quieted my "why's" and "what if's."

I now have peace about her death, and I find comfort rather than pain in my memories of her. But this peace wasn't possible until I realized my questions were unanswerable, my grandma's despair wasn't mine to fix, and sharing my grief with others helped me heal.

Later in my life, I experience thoughts of suicide as well, plunging me into the darkest moments of my life. Fortunately, my story ends happier, not because I was "stronger" but because I had more resources. A fantastic therapist helped me heal many hurts, and a talented psychiatrist prescribed medication that transformed how I felt about life. I am keenly aware that not everyone has access to these resources, and thankful that we are having more public discussions about mental health. I hope this post adds to that trend.

I am now someone who's lost a loved one to suicide, contemplated it myself, and been with others considering it. From that perspective, I'd like to share two thoughts. First, if you are ever with someone in despair, know that you will both be scared, and taking a deep breath is an excellent place to start. The only thing you need to do is to be there calmly, lovingly, and openly. Your listening ear is more helpful than advice because there are no easy answers or quick fixes.

My second thought is a request. Please take a moment to learn more during this National Suicide Prevention Week. And if you or someone you know needs help, dial 988 or contact the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).